A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
Tourist- $8
Broiled Ministry- $10
Fried Explorer - $12.50
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican- $100.00
The cannibal called the cook over and asked, “Why such a high price for the Politicians?”
The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of crap it takes all morning.”
A Senator was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
I saw a documentary about Johnny Carson the other night on PBS and have been thinking alot since then how interesting it is that some of the funniest, wittiest people I know of have known terrible sadness and tragedy.
I saw a documentary about Johnny Carson the other night on PBS and have been thinking alot since then how interesting it is that some of the funniest, wittiest people I know of have known terrible sadness and tragedy.
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Carter doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
The Ten Best Things You Can Say About Barack Obama
1. Obama wouldn't wear brown shoes with a blue suit.
2. Obama really, really likes dogs.
3. The White House lawn is nice.
4. No more Pontiacs.
5. Gold is at an all time high.
6. Obama knows all the best golf courses.
7. Obama's ears don't obstruct his vision.
8. Obama has visited all 57 states.
9. Obama hasn't violated the Third Amendment.
10. Obama wouldn't wear blue shoes with a brown suit.
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That is so true, texbuck.
